Day 36 - IS Aftermath

Our presentation got a fairly good reception. I was quite embarassed over delivering yet another rushed halfassed unfinished production but there was no helping this time. Finished around 4 and had maybe 4 hours of sleep to my name at a point where i didnt think i could shorten the average night any more. This became more of a project than i had anticipated, but i kept at it, trusting that hard labour and late nights somehow furthers the endresult. Wich it did in a way, but not what i hoped for. I should really learn to take control of theese modules at an earlier stage. I ended up making the motionconcept, teaching 5 people how to use the software as well as making sure they did it in the end. Not exactly what im used to or happy with but in any case, they were not choices that could be avoided. Still its all good in a way because my brain is making good use of parts that has never seen such before. Where a dirty citchen and commonareas serves as an impromptu type of office and serious work in the am:s is again standard im finding myself at peace with my enveroment for whatever reason.

Getting home before 6 for the first time in weeks a hammer of sheer exhaustion came down on me as i was preparing hot food at home, wich i havent done since adam came to visit almost 2 weeks ago. I find myself in a constantly distressed but yet cheerful state in wich i usuaully felt uncomfortable in. This has now tilted me into a new default and i picture myself around the building grinning foolishly about nothing at all because i probably am doing just that. Passed the store on the way home to stack up on tomatosauce and tuna wich should be a good supplement to the olive and cheese-sauce ive dieted on since i got here. To quote a good book i just red i feel i live in a cloud of satisfaction that the previously lost cause is panning out into. The only constant downside this week has been the not so pleasant lack of espressopods in my mailbox.

Having eaten and kicked back at home the only unrest i have left is the feeling i want more that spending two weeks with schoolprojects in AfterFX left me. I would love to go back down to my big computer to gun myself down the streets of resourceful but stress-free creativity. Knowing that being as attuned to my surroundings is only on a limited timeline with the amount of sleep i have behind me this week i should probably concentrate on getting a reasonable nap before heading out for some beers. Knowing myself eaven further im quite aware that spending too much time around the motioncreation as its turned out to be lately will put me in a mood that will create a wall beetween me and further progression. The feeling of a good week of work behind you including all the weekends between now and last month makes you feel quite deserving of a good pint or atleast a cheap lager wich is usually the case here. Quoting that same book again, "Life is more difficult for the serious artist. Time is money but also money is money." Wich leads me back to the not so comfortable thought of spending a good 600 on a put together 9 hour traintrip to the westcoast and back this weekend.

The only downside i can think of that my newfound love for moving pictures has created is that it will most probably push my plans of starting some clothingdesign eaven further into the vague future. Just thinking about it makes the parts of my brain that comes up with theese ideas snap back into almost-anxious about the future mode again. I know that at this stage the best thing i could reward my in and out comming sense of creativity is to jot down theese ideas i have on paper and stash them someplace not too far away but still not present enough to kill the inspiration from seeing them to frequently. And at the same time i want to invest in a billboard to nail some inspiration on at the wall of the room. Just to keep it fresh and in my constant presence.

Feeling this is leading into another mindless lackofsleep rant i end right here with a hint of tuna and a promise of endulging in reasonable amounts of beer to celebrate a completed and successfull module at Hyper Island.